You know family dynamics can look odd from the outside yet perfectly ordinary from the inside; I've had to explain my family so many times I can do it from a rote, practiced explanation, but today I tried explaining it to a nurse and mucked it up enough that she either thinks I'm insane or sleep deprived or both. Our oldest is 13.That's easy enough and the nurse met him yesterday. Today she met my grandkids and I could tell by the look I got that she didn't quite get it. I didn't quite explain it either. But they weren't there to see Char so I didn't really have to.

I took custody of my niece when she was 15. There's a lot of unpleasantness behind that but the short of it is that my sister is no longer in her daughter's life, and God only knows where the girl's father is. So my niece is more like my daughter and the relationship was sealed pretty much like that before she graduated from high school. Her daughter doesn't realize I'm not actually her grandfather yet, and her son is too little to know who anyone really is. But the gist of it, my oldest child is 13 but I have a 6 year old grandaughter and a 5 month old grandson.

Erin brought them to the hospital today while she visited Char. She knew they would not be allowed in the room with her but I think her bringing them was intentional. I stayed in the waiting room with them and got to hold the baby while trying to convince him it was not possible to get lunch on the tap from me, and I got read to from an assortment of Dr. Seuss. The distraction was nice and I probably needed it more than I realized.

Erin was the only visitor I allowed in to see Char today, because she just wasn't up to it. Alex (eldest son; not using their names was turning my brain into crap) didn't ask this morning and I overheard him telling Rachel and Kevin that Mom was"exhausted after the operation" and he didn't want to bother her but he promised he would see her tomorrow and if they want to send notes he'll take them. That kid drives me nuts sometimes and after all the crap we've gone through the last month with him it's easy to forget that he is a good kid and he's a very good big brother.

Tomorrow I'll start making a pain out of myself at the hospital because I'm not convinced they're handling her pain levels well enough. I would have done it today but I wasn't exactly sure who I needed to talk to but Mike (Thumper's Spouse Thingy) turned me in the right direction and I have an appointment with the PIC of the ICU tomorrow and hopefully we can figure out what to do for her. Today she was in a lot of pain and spent most of it fighting tears because of it. That just pisses me off because I don't think she needs to suck that much up.

On the bright side, she had a little bit of an appetite today and was willing to try to eat. She hates that she needs help but even though the right side of her body is just bruised it's still sore as shit and hurts to move. I don't want to contemplate just how upset she's going to be when the solid food is actually digested and the bedpan gets dragged out (and yes, I apologize for that, angel, but it amuses me a little because now you know how I felt.)

It amuses me too how someone you've been married to for 14 years can suddenly be so modest. Evidently bed baths are mortifying and husbands are not allowed to be witness to them. Lesson learned.