They can stop now.

Just before Kevin turns 12, Alex will be eligible to get his learner's permit. He is under the mistaken notion that this is a given thing, and that on the appointed day, March 2, 2011, he will be taken to the DMV where he will take, and pass, the exam necessary to begin the process of learning how to drive. Granted, our lives will become somewhat easier once he has his full license, but there's that time in between getting the permit and getting a full license that will present more headaches than I care to contemplate.

His best friend has a learner's permit now, and they both keep pointing out how wonderful life will be when Evan turns 16 and has his license. In their imaginations, Evan has his own car and they're driving all over the place, going to parties, going on double dates. The reality is that we have graduated licensing and with that comes restrictions and curfews, and that doesn't include all the parental rules that will be heaped on top of everything else. Their disappointment will be palpable.

Evan's parents have no intention of getting him a car; he seems to think one will magically appear in the driveway on his 16th birthday, no matter what they tell him. He's done nothing towards earning the money to buy one for himself. We have no intention of allowing Alex to ride as a passenger with Evan until he has more experience behind the wheel, and the penalties for being caught as his passenger will be steep. He's been told this more than once, but he's 15; it goes in one ear and out the other so fast that I can nearly see his hair float from the gush of wind it generates.

Don't get me wrong; they're both good kids and trustworthy, but I was a teenage boy with a new license. I remember how stupid I was, especially behind the wheel. I remember how stupid my friends were--and I'm looking at you, Thump--when it came to cars. My life would be easier if we allowed Alex to ride from the high school to the college every afternoon with Evan, but that's not going to happen this year.

I fully expect to re-earn my World's Meanest Dad trophy.

A year from now, however, Alex will have a license, and based on the cash he's saving, he'll have his own car. I was on board with the idea of buying another family car, one he could use for school and to run errands for us, but not one of which he had control. But, I made the mistake of telling him that if he saved up enough, I would not only allow him to buy a car, I would match his funds. That was before I got a look at his bank balance, and I've regretted the promise ever since.

This is the part of parenthood I never gave the full weight of consideration to: my kids are growing up far quicker than I would like. Alex is on the cusp of driving; Rachel turns 14 in January and based on what we did with Alex, we'll have to fully open the door to dating, and Kevin is speeding towards puberty and more pitfalls than I suspect I can imagine.

We're trying to hold on as best we can, but they're getting away from us, and dammit, they're laughing at us as they go.

Laughing until the first time Alex wants to ride somewhere with Evan, anyway.

Not really eavesdropping

Last night Rachel stomped down the hall and loudly announced There's a LIZARD in my bathroom.

This prompted both boys to jump up and run down the hall to see for themselves; I got up, but being that it wasn't a rattlesnake or tarantula, I was in far less of a hurry.

Before I turned the corner toward her bathroom I heard this:

Alex: I think it's a gekko.
Rachel: KILL IT!
Kevin: No, don't kill it. I don't think they carry diseases and they eat bugs. And, you'll save ten percent on your car insurance.

I think this trumps the earlier overheard exchange between Alex and Stephanie:

Steph: I don't want to write this paper. The month is almost over.
Alex: October?
Steph: Breast Awareness month.
Alex: Really? I'm aware of yours every month.

Blowing off the cobwebs

If you ever want to lose blogging momentum, go away for three weeks. It also helps if prior to that you're so busy trying to wrangle two teenagers and a kid who thinks he's a teenager that you just lose track of the blog.

My sister's wedding was wonderful. It was small the way she wanted, just family and a few friends, but it was traditional enough to make our dad happy. He finally got to give away one of his daughters, and before Nika and Peter left the reception (dinner party, really) he told his new son-in-law that returns are allowed, but there's a hefty restocking fee. And I think Peter is taking him seriously.

They took off on their honeymoon and Ian and I took off for Belgium, where he had some buisness to take care of. After getting the ball rolling on that we went to visit some of his family in Ireland. That was absolutely beautiful. He was born in a small coastal town but doesn't really remember much of it, so seeing things was as new to him as it was to me. He has a huge extended family and they made a point of coming together for a family dinner when we were there, even though he doesn't really know most of them. It was still fun, and felt a lot like home.

After that we met Nika and Peter in Johannesburg to meet Peter's family. I expected that to be awkward, but they were very welcoming and a little offended that we intended to stay in a hotel. we spent most of our time with them and didn't get out to see much, but that turned out to be all right. By the time we left they all felt like family, and we were certain that we'd like to bring the kids back next year.

After that we all flew into London, and I headed home with Nika and Peter; Ian had to go back to Belgium and is still there. The business he needed to take care of turned out to be stickier than we originally thought it would be, and I have no idea when he'll be able to come home, but he can't leave until he has everything settled.

I really would like it to be soon, though, because the kids feel like it's his job all over again, and even though he's just taking care of a personal business matter, they're all on edge. I swear, if one more teenager rolls eyes at me...Well, I'll call my dad and let him handle it :)