It's 3 am I must be...something

In a twist, me winding up in the hospital under the knife was a good thing for the kids, especially Kevin. Neither of us realized how much Char's accident and long hospital stay was still in the back of his mind, but when we told the kids I was having surgery, he had a mini-meltdown. We tried to stress that all that would happen was the removal of what was basically a big, deep zit, but he only heard surgery and hospital.

He understands that as bad as it looked the first time he saw his mother in the hospital, that she recovered, got better, and is fine now, but I don't think any of her progress has erased that horrible feeling he had. He panicked, and there wasn't a whole lot either of us could say to make him feel better.

Alex and Rachel wanted basic information (they got no specifics) and were satisfied with the answers they got, but we weren't sure they felt as good about it as they tried to make us think.

When they told me I was staying overnight, Char called Brad and told him to bring the kids. By then I was awake and alert, a little drugged up but not badly, and while it hurt, I could sit up in bed. Alex and Rachel came in the room as if it was normal; Kevin had to be coaxed in.

His relief was obvious. He was fighting the image in his head of Dad flat on his back with tubes and wires everywhere, but what he saw was Dad sitting up, smiling, one IV line, wearing that ridiculous hospital gown. He wanted to crawl up on the bed with me, and I was prepared to suck it up and let him, but Alex put a hand on his shoulder and stopped him with, They punched a hole in his junk, I don't think you sitting up there will feel very good.

Instead of upsetting him, just the idea of someone doing things to my junk made Kevin laugh.

I don't think Rachel wanted to hear that, though, because she let this long, perfect teenaged girl sigh out, and grumbled that she was ready to go home.

But who would have guessed, our youngest actually needed something like this in order to really grasp that things aren't always ugly at the outset when you're hospitalized.

No announcements; it's almost 3:30 in the morning and I couldn't sleep, and there's no way I'm waking Char up for anything.