The kids are, understandably, curious about the family members they've either never met or simply don't remember. They know I am irretrievably irritated with my brother and will probably never have a healthy relationship with him, and they understand why I've all but written off my sister.

Erin is a frequent reminder of my sister's overwhelming parental failures and her innate selfishness. Still, Erin does not mind talking about her mother, and she can answer questions the kids have that I either can't or won't. She's shown pictures of her mother to them, and they can all see the resemblance my sister had to our father, and they can see her in Erin.

Char was digging through photos today, and Kevin expressed a curiosity about my brother. Who did he look like? What color is his hair? Is he tall like Dad or short like Grandpa was? Char flipped through old photo albums looking for pictures to show him, and couldn't find any.

I had pictures; in our early 20s he and I took a trip to Ireland and I had pictures from that. I remember scanning a few when Alex was a baby. Yet somewhere along the way, either accidentally or intentionally, I've lost them.

I'm so far from being his biggest fan the idea is a joke, but it still bothers me that I don't have a single picture of my only brother.

I could ask him for one, but that would require giving him my address, and frankly, that's never going to happen.