There's a park nearby where Alex takes Tank for walks, and where he and Kevin go to shoot hoops. It's also about halfway between here and Stephanie's house, so most of the time she meets them there and intentionally loses game of 'horse' to Kevin (I am sarting to really like this girl.)

Yesterday Alex had both dogs and his little brother with him; he was a bit preoccupied controlling all three, so Damien's sudden presence didn't click with him at first. (Stephanie was not there this time, but I suspect Damien was looking for her.) The basketball court was somewhat crowded, though Kevin had one of the short hoops to himself while Alex walked Tank and Stoner back and forth; he was about fifty yards away when it registered in his brain that Damien was talking to Kevin, and he looked like he was sneering.

He ran with Tank's leash in hand, and ordered Stoner to follow. Stoner is too old to run much, but he follows directions well, so Alex was sure he would follow as quickly as he could.

When he was within fifty feet he let Tank's leash go with the command to block Kevin. That was a bit risky as Tank has been more difficult to train than Stoner ever was; Stoner would hear the command and be directly in front of Kevin in half a second. Tank just might lop over and head butt someone completely uninvolved in the crotch.

Tank obeyed this time and sat right in front of Kevin, a large furry wall between him and Damien. Stoner picked up his pace and was next to Tank before Alex could get there (which had to be painful for him.) Alex was ready to do whatever he had to, but when he was close enough, he realized Kevin was laughing.

Damien was not sneering at Kevin out of threat; he was sneering because he had just admitted that Kevin could probably wipe up the basketball court with him. He was there because he had seen Alex at the park and stopped to apologize to him, and wanted Alex to meet him at Stephanie's so he could apologize to her, as well (I think he had hoped they would both be there, so there's no telling how it would have gone down if they had been.)

Alex is not stupid; he called me to come pick him up and to go with him to Stephanie's. Char followed in the SUV to collect Kevin and the dogs--her first solo drive, I might add--and take them home.

On the surface, Damien's apology seemed sincere. He promised to leave Stephanie alone and claimed to be sorry that he had frightened her. His intentions seem genuine.

That doesn't mean I trust the kid. I don't. He got caught in an uncomfortable position with his parents and his TKD instructor breathing down his neck, he's being drug tested, and likely dragged off to therapy. That doesn't begin to address his apparent lack of impulse control and immaturity, nor does it suddenly instill in him a respect for women that he obviously lacks.

Stephanie's dad doesn't buy it 100% either. She accepted his apology, but as soon as Damien was gone my warning to both her and Alex was to not let their guards down. For the immediate future she's still leaving school with us and will be at either our house or the dojang until her father gets off work.

But, it might be a sliver of progress. With all the adults in his life keeping an eye on him, he might come around. I still think he's redeemable, but it's going to be a giant pain in the ass, and that's with the presumption his parents can keep him in TKD and remove him from the influence of some questionable friends.

They want to know what they've done wrong; I don't think it's that simple. You can do the bet you can do and still your kids make their own choices. Individuation is an important part of adolescent growth, but it doesn't always manifest itself in the ways we might choose.

My kids drive me a little nuts with the teenage angst and drama, but I can live with that.