I pseudo-lamented last year that our Christmas traditions have changed; the kids are getting older and the things we used to do, like sending them to bed at a reasonable hour so that we can spend an hour or two curled around each other on the sofa, have gone by the wayside. Last year we got home from church, and the kids stayed up. And it was all right; I missed that quite time with Char but realized that there will come a day when I'll wish the kids were all there there making more noise than I would like.
This year I expected more changes; the family is bigger, all the kids are older, and they had their own expectations about how we would celebrate. Alex was fully prepared to suck it up and go to church with us on the 24th, but the truth is that none of us have been to Mass in months, and I wasn't especially inclined to force everyone, myself included into dressing up and sitting through a service I was sure would leave both Alex and myself with a bitter taste. So we stayed home; the kids had friends over until early evening, when Brad and Craig showed up, and for the first time I can remember we spent Christmas Eve at home.
This was also the first Christmas I've spent with my brother in at least 3 decades. To be honest, I wasn't sure how it would go. He had his own traditions with his kids and grandkids and I knew he would miss them, and I really wasn't sure how the stress of being away from his kids would affect him. For his sake, it was an alcohol-free holiday; he wouldn't have said anything if there had been a bottle of wine or if Brad had brought a twelve pack of beer, but neither Char nor I wanted to shove that in his face. Brad was not thrilled, but only because his tradition includes a shot of something strong at midnight. He doesn't remember when he started it, but Char thinks it goes way back to when she was a toddler, but neither of them really remembers.
Weeks ago Char started to pepper Craig with questions about the things he typically did on Christmas. While nothing we did was going to take the sting out of not seeing his grandkids, she was certain that if we embraced a few of his traditions that it might help. And I think she was right; his thing at Christmas is baking, and our kids were all over it. After dinner they spent the evening in the kitchen with him baking cookies and a couple of pies; Char and I sat at the breakfast bar watching and keeping them company, and it was obvious Craig was in his element. I don't think it was the baking so much as it was that he had the kids' attention, cooperation, and more importantly, they hung on every word he said. It was loud and it was messy, but it was also wonderful to see.
The kids were up late into the night again; after the last of the cookies came out of the oven they broke out the board games again, and while Char and I cleaned up the baking mess they gave Craig a taste of what it's like to constantly lose to them.
Christmas day brought the rest of the family; the true test of Craig's ability to withstand the masses. With Erin and Miko's kids here, the noise level shoots through the roof, and it's a constant battle to keep the smallest ones from pulling down the tree, eating things off the floor they shouldn't, crawling or toddling into walls, bookcases, or the TV. Craig put himself in charge of keeping track of Thad and Alex laid claim to Travis, so that Mom and Dad could relax a bit; more than that, it turned into being something to really see, how well my brother interacts with the little kids, and how a grandfather he could be if he got a better chance at it.
I think next year, as his own kids relax about him, he'll have more opportunities to be a grandfather. I don't think he'll ever move back home, but as he holds tight to his sobriety, I see his kids being willing to bring theirs here to visit him. As it is, all of his boys called him on Christmas and he got to talk to most of his grandkids.
How Craig is doing and how determined he is, that's really the only gift I needed this year.
I am proud of him. That's not something I ever thought I would feel where he's concerned. But I am definitely proud of him.
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