Instead of skiing, Char and I have spent the weekend baby wrangling. Erin and Miko have been taking the older kids out to ski and snowboard, and we've been playing in the snow right outside the condo with Travis and Thad; Thad has no clue what he's expected to do out there and Travis only wants to be outside in 10 minute spurts, so it's been a lot of in and out and in and out. Because we're not as mean as Mom, we also haven't been making Travis take both the naps he usually put down for every day, and Erin wonders why he's falling asleep at night so easily for us when he usually fights her tooth and nail.
We're also keeping all the kids with us at night so Erin and Miko can have some kidless time; they're tired. Erin is about to lose her mind keeping up with a toddler and a 10 month old, and Toni has noticed how much attention her brothers get and it pisses her off, so she acts accordingly. There's just not enough Mom to go around; Erin needs a break. All our kids are old enough to keep Toni and Travis entertained in the evenings, and with Mom in another condo, there's no one to pry the baby away from Char. So it's been win-win all weekend. we get the grandkids, Erin and Miko get some down time.
Tomorrow they're heading for home and taking our brood with them, then depositing them at home with their grandfather. That wasn't part of our original plans, but Brad called last night needing a place to crash for a few days while he waits for a new furnace to be installed, and he offered to watch the kids while we took a few days to ski. We're not idiots, we took him up on it. I think Rachel may go over to Erin's to get away from her brothers for a day or two, and that's fine.
Miko reports that Rachel has stuck with Erin nearly the whole time they're skiing, and a lot of what they talked about was what a hardass I can be. Erin can empathize; I was far stricter with her than I have been with Alex and Rachel, mostly because when Erin came to live with us I was clueless about parenting a teenager, much less a teenage girl who had already tripped over a couple of speed bumps. All Rachel knows is that I'm a mean son of a bitch and I never let her do anything fun, which isn't fair at all because Alex gets to do everything.
Erin pointed out to her that she actually has it easier; when Erin was sixteen, I made her wait an entire year before I'd let her go out with Miko. He hung around the house like a love sick puppy, but I was stubborn; they weren't allowed on an actual date until she was nearly seventeen and he had been hanging around the house for nearly a year. Even then, I was an SOB about her curfew, and Miko was just scared enough of me he always had her home early. It put a crimp in their dating style.
I'm hoping that Erin can make Rachel see that I'm not being a punitive asshole; there are reasons why I am strict. I know it seems to her that Alex gets to do everything he wants, but she doesn't stop to think that I'm only relaxing with him as he gets a little older and more mature--and I'm still the one who drives him and Stephanie to where they want to go. I still require him to let me know where he'll be if they walk away from where I drop them off, who they'll be with, and he knows what will happen if he doesn't answer his phone if I call. She doesn't see that most of their "dates" consist of them watching a movie here at home, or taking Tank to the park. She doesn't stop to think that Alex makes deliberate efforts at growing up: he has a job, he pushes himself to do well in school, he's learning to not roll his eyes and talk back.
She doesn't see anything of that because she's 14 and life is simply unfair when you're 14; but it would be helpful if she stopped to remember what Alex went through at her age.
Nothing I say will convince her that I'm anything but mean and that my attempts to thwart her dating life are personal, but at least with Erin she has a sympathetic ear, and an idea of not only how much stricter I could be, but how much I let up when the time is right.
She hasn't asked yet, but Char and I have made sure that there's nothing pressing scheduled next weekend, so if Cheese asks her out, I'll be available to drive them.
Unless Char and I decide to not go home. Staying here might be tempting.
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