Holiday lessons learned:

• People do not accept the explanation Ummm...Santa must have thought I had a cold when they find out you got menthol cough drops in your stocking.
  
• There is no explanation for the cough drops that you can give your oldest son, nor your father-in-law, that sounds believeable.
  
• When there are ten other people in the house, you are not alone with your wife even when you think you are alone.
  
• Next time, wear looser sweatpants.
  
• My father-in-law can actually sputter.
  
• The right gift can make my wife cry.
  
• World of Warcraft costs money every month, not just for the software itself.
  
• Waddling pregnant women still make me laugh.
  
• I really should have told Nika that Stoner can open the refrigerator, and meat left on the lowest shelf is fair game.
  
• Half a ham split between two dogs makes for a very Merry Christmas for them.
  
• Happiness is a surprise new template from an old friend.